I'd like to talk about a concept that is rather difficult for most men to “ get ”. Ironically, it's a concept that's rather easy...
I'd like to talk about a concept that is rather difficult for most men to “get”.
Ironically, it's a concept that's rather easy to understand, but because it's so illogical and “ counter intuitive” it's also easy to miss entirely.
It's understanding what attracts women sexually.
And what I'm about to share with you took me literally YEARS to figure out… even though it was right in front of my face the whole time.
When I first decided to get this area called “ Women and Dating” handled in my own life, I did what I think most guys do… I THOUGHT a lot about it, I READ a lot about it, and I ASKED a lot about it.
I've spent a lot of time studying psychology and human behavior, because it fascinates me… and I figured that all of my understanding about how people worked would really give me an advantage in this quest I had started.
And since I think I'm pretty smart, I figured that this would be something that I'd get figured out rather quickly.
Well, what a humbling experience I was in for.
As I soon learned, it's not easy to solve an illogical problem by thinking about it logically!
In fact, now that I know better, I think that attraction IS rather logical… it's just that how it works is so UNEXPECTED that it SEEMS illogical. But for now, let's just use the term “illogical” because it forces the mind to put aside pre-conceived notions of what “should” happen
As I was trying to figure all this stuff out for myself (and keep in mind, I had no idea that I would later write a book to help others) I kept running into challenges.
It seemed that every logical thing I did just didn't work in a way that made sense.
One of the biggest mistakes I made was ASSUMING THAT ATTRACTION WORKED THE SAME WAY FOR WOMEN THAT IT DOES FOR MEN.
It only made sense that since men are attracted to looks and sweet personalities that women should be too … right?
So, of course, I tried to work this angle by wearing nice clothes, doing nice things for women, and being the NICEST guy you could ever meet. I was accommodating to the extreme. I would do whatever a woman wanted, and basically accepted whatever flaky or manipulative behaviors she used with me.
But since none of that stuff seemed to really help at all, I just kept coming to the same conclusion:
I MUST NOT BE ATTRACTIVE ENOUGH, GOOD LOOKING ENOUGH, RICH ENOUGH, OR SOMETHING ENOUGH.
I was doing everything I could imagine to be a nice, sweet, great guy… but women just didn't seem to respond to me in a “sexually attracted” way…
“It must just be me that's the problem,” I thought.
Well, fortunately for me, I'm not one to quit easily.
I stuck with it, and I finally did something that had a PROFOUND impact on my personal success…
I MADE FRIENDS WITH DIFFERENT GUYS WHO WERE “ NATURALLY ”SUCCESSFUL WITH WOMEN AND I WATCHED WHAT THEY DID.
When I think back now, I think to myself “DUH!”
But it REALLY made a huge difference.
Here's a big revelation I learned from them:
Men are more attracted to physical traits, and women are more attracted to PERSONALITY traits.
Men get sexually aroused and “turned on” instantly at the sight of a young, shapely female body. As a man, you know that this process happens instantly and “all by itself”, meaning you don't really have a choice in the matter.
What Attracts Women Sexually
Well, WOMEN get sexually aroused initially and “ turned on” when they interact with a man that has certain QUALITIES and PERSONALITY TRAITS.
Think about that for a moment.
Men become turned on by what they can see. Women become turned on by what can NEVER be seen.
Do physical looks, money, fame, power, height, age, etc. play into this at all?
Of course they do.
But they're not NEARLY as important as most men think they are.
To sum up…
Attraction is different for men than it is for women.
While men are attracted mostly by physical traits, women are attracted mostly by PERSONALITY traits.
Women don't decide who to feel attracted to with their logical minds. They “decide” with their emotions and then make up reasons and rationalize it.
Attraction Isn't a Choice!
This is why some men attract women so well, while others don't… and why ANY man can improve his success with women DRAMATICALLY, no matter what his looks, age, or income.
