Here’s a question I get all the time: “how do I know when a woman is interested in me? And how can I get women to approach me first?” Okay,...
Here’s a question I get all the time: “how do I know when a woman is interested in me? And how can I get women to approach me first?” Okay, that’s actually two questions. But you get the point. Well, we all know that women are typically subtle creatures. They aren’t often going to come whack you upside the melon with a 2×4 and announce, “Hey stupid…I’m into you.” On second thought, maybe in certain parts of Brooklyn and/or Queens that could happen. And having gone to school in downtown Filthydelphia, I might have to make an exception there also. But I digress. Even though most guys habitually miss women’s subtle indicators of interest, all is not lost. In fact, this post is dedicated to lazy guys everywhere who want to hit the “easy button” and bypass all of the Chick Whispering altogether. Here, at long last, are five bona fide ways you can get women to approach you for a change.
1. Be A Bartender Or Waiter
So you want to get your bar/club game in order? Try working at one. I might even include “bouncer” on the “A list” of must-have jobs. Then again, if AFC’s persist in buying the hottest women drinks, then that would obviate my point. Let’s put you behind the bar and hope for the best anyway. After all, some hottie somewhere has got to be buying her own drinks…um, right? On second thought, why not just be a waiter? Go sling hash at Red Lobster and serve Sailor’s Platters all day to cuties. And businessmen on their lunch break. Here’s a better idea, work in the kitchen. That way the waitresses have to approach you constantly…all shift long. Let’s get on with it…
2. Take Your Dog To The Park
Ingredients: One dalmatian. One red scarf. One frisbee. Combine into one local park and mix thoroughly. Now that’s a recipe for getting mobbed by women if I’ve ever seen one. No dalmatian? A Labrador, Shetland Sheepdog or Australian Shepherd should do. Or just take a Chihuahua and stand there holding it until someone wants to pet it. And if all else fails, at least you aren’t going home alone…right?
3. Work At The Mall
What do women love more than anything? Shopping, of course. And where are the most shops to
do such shopping located? You guessed it…the mall. Don’t even think about working at Champs or some other guy store, though. And don’t get your logic crossed up and go work at Fashion Bug or something either. Only completely style-free women shop there. And it’s not like you can go to Petite Sophisticate and get a job either. That’s just flat-out creepy. What you need to do is be the guy standing in the food court handing out Chick-Fil-A. Hot women love Chick-Fil-A. And Orange Juliuses too. I guess. Nah, stick with Chick-Fil-A. The name says it all. Never mind the fact that you’re only getting minimum wage for your trouble. This is about scoring the babes.
4. Babysit Your Niece And Go Public
First, get an older sister or brother. Next, make them have a kid or two. Then, get the kid to grow up so she (preferably) is potty-trained. From there, you’ve got about 18-24 months to get to babysittin’. Dress the cute little girl up and take her where women tend to hang out. Like Chick-Fil-A. I got mobbed by the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders at ELP airport one day with this strategy. Except the kid happened to be my daughter. And I was married to the kids Mom. So no “digits”. Bummer.
5. Wear A Red Shirt
To Target Now, let me be forthright. I don’t have a lot of red shirts. After all, red means “stop”. Nonetheless, one day I happened to “hit the Target” wearing one of those red shirts. If you haven’t figured out the significance of this section yet, people who work at Target wear red shirts. And it’s not even like they have standard, company-issue uni or anything. They just wear some red shirt they dug out of the closet…or some freshman football player’s locker. This means that if the planets are aligned and you happen to drop in the local Target with a red shirt on, you’re fittin’ to get mobbed. By beautiful women. And by old guys who can’t find the Metamucil. But the point is, they’re approaching you.
OK, by now you’ve probably figured out that this is a semi-serious post, at best. With all the time we spend around here talking about “manning up”, my role as a dating coach to men is always going to be to encourage guys to do the approaching. I can’t really expect you to sit here and listen to me blather on about “women approaching you” with a straight face. After all, if you’re waiting around for women to approach you, you might wait a long time. Even if you take the list I gave above seriously, you’ve got to admit there are some “surgical procedures” involved. You’ve got to be in the right place at the right time under the right circumstances. So why not avoid the hassle altogether and go talk to some women? Make the first move. Be proactive. It feels better than wearing a red shirt to Target.
1. Be A Bartender Or Waiter
So you want to get your bar/club game in order? Try working at one. I might even include “bouncer” on the “A list” of must-have jobs. Then again, if AFC’s persist in buying the hottest women drinks, then that would obviate my point. Let’s put you behind the bar and hope for the best anyway. After all, some hottie somewhere has got to be buying her own drinks…um, right? On second thought, why not just be a waiter? Go sling hash at Red Lobster and serve Sailor’s Platters all day to cuties. And businessmen on their lunch break. Here’s a better idea, work in the kitchen. That way the waitresses have to approach you constantly…all shift long. Let’s get on with it…
2. Take Your Dog To The Park
Ingredients: One dalmatian. One red scarf. One frisbee. Combine into one local park and mix thoroughly. Now that’s a recipe for getting mobbed by women if I’ve ever seen one. No dalmatian? A Labrador, Shetland Sheepdog or Australian Shepherd should do. Or just take a Chihuahua and stand there holding it until someone wants to pet it. And if all else fails, at least you aren’t going home alone…right?
3. Work At The Mall
What do women love more than anything? Shopping, of course. And where are the most shops to
do such shopping located? You guessed it…the mall. Don’t even think about working at Champs or some other guy store, though. And don’t get your logic crossed up and go work at Fashion Bug or something either. Only completely style-free women shop there. And it’s not like you can go to Petite Sophisticate and get a job either. That’s just flat-out creepy. What you need to do is be the guy standing in the food court handing out Chick-Fil-A. Hot women love Chick-Fil-A. And Orange Juliuses too. I guess. Nah, stick with Chick-Fil-A. The name says it all. Never mind the fact that you’re only getting minimum wage for your trouble. This is about scoring the babes.
4. Babysit Your Niece And Go Public
First, get an older sister or brother. Next, make them have a kid or two. Then, get the kid to grow up so she (preferably) is potty-trained. From there, you’ve got about 18-24 months to get to babysittin’. Dress the cute little girl up and take her where women tend to hang out. Like Chick-Fil-A. I got mobbed by the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders at ELP airport one day with this strategy. Except the kid happened to be my daughter. And I was married to the kids Mom. So no “digits”. Bummer.
5. Wear A Red Shirt
To Target Now, let me be forthright. I don’t have a lot of red shirts. After all, red means “stop”. Nonetheless, one day I happened to “hit the Target” wearing one of those red shirts. If you haven’t figured out the significance of this section yet, people who work at Target wear red shirts. And it’s not even like they have standard, company-issue uni or anything. They just wear some red shirt they dug out of the closet…or some freshman football player’s locker. This means that if the planets are aligned and you happen to drop in the local Target with a red shirt on, you’re fittin’ to get mobbed. By beautiful women. And by old guys who can’t find the Metamucil. But the point is, they’re approaching you.
OK, by now you’ve probably figured out that this is a semi-serious post, at best. With all the time we spend around here talking about “manning up”, my role as a dating coach to men is always going to be to encourage guys to do the approaching. I can’t really expect you to sit here and listen to me blather on about “women approaching you” with a straight face. After all, if you’re waiting around for women to approach you, you might wait a long time. Even if you take the list I gave above seriously, you’ve got to admit there are some “surgical procedures” involved. You’ve got to be in the right place at the right time under the right circumstances. So why not avoid the hassle altogether and go talk to some women? Make the first move. Be proactive. It feels better than wearing a red shirt to Target.
